Interference With Custody or Visitation FAQ
Know your legal rights if your child's other parent doesn't cooperate with a legally established custody or visitation arrangement.
My ex-wife and I share joint legal and physical custody of our kids. But I am the only one who does their laundry, makes sure their homework is done and keeps their activity schedules straight. How can I get her to share equally in these responsibilities?
First, consider whether you think your ex-wife means to dump so much responsibility on you. Perhaps her personal or employment schedule is overwhelming. Before taking legal action, try a heart-to-heart conversation without the children present. Explain that it's hard for you to handle everything and ask for her support. If this doesn't work, write her a polite letter detailing your tasks and suggest what she could do to help. Send the letter certified mail, and give her a reasonable time -- say, two weeks -- to respond. If she doesn't acknowledge your letter or make any changes in her behavior, going to court may be inevitable.
Before taking that step, though, consider asking a mediator to help you and your ex communicate about sharing responsibility for the kids. If that doesn't work either, you will have to ask a judge to order that you and your ex split the parental duties. Sometimes a written order from a judge will spur a lagging parent into action.
Last summer, my ex-husband took our kids on vacation and didn't tell me where they were going. Can I prevent him from leaving me in the dark this year?
This is a tough one. On the one hand, your ex-husband is free to take the children where he wants, as long as they aren't harmed, unless your custody and visitation arrangement provides otherwise. On the other, it may not be in your children's best interest to be unable to speak with you during this time, especially if an emergency arises.
Ask your ex-husband two months prior to the scheduled vacation where he plans to take the children. It might help if you explain why you want this information, so he doesn't think you are trying to interfere with his plans. If he doesn't provide an answer within a week, put the request in a certified letter. You might want to send a copy of this letter to his lawyer, if he has one. (Usually an attorney will convince an ex-spouse to provide this information, to avoid embarrassment in court later.) Try to make the letter neutral in tone, and avoid displaying your anger -- you may be required to show it to a judge later.
If your ex (or his lawyer) does not respond to your letter, consider filing an "order to show cause" before the vacation. This document would demand that your ex appear in court and explain to the judge why he shouldn't have to tell you where he plans to take the kids. A judge will most likely order your ex to provide the information.
Page 1 of 5
Next Page
Copyright 2005 Nolo
