The parties have different versions of the agreement and may disagree about the terms of the original agreement. A court will not enforce an agreement if it cannot determine what the parents originally agreed to.

The agreement is too old. Courts often hesitate to bind either parent to an agreement that was made many years in the past.

Courts don't want to curtail First Amendment and parenting rights. As previously mentioned, courts are loathe to tramp on an individual's First Amendment or parenting rights. Nor do courts want to get involved in ongoing supervision of parents' compliance with an agreement; this can look like excessive government entanglement in private affairs.

Not all courts dismiss religious upbringing agreements, however. For example, in September 1999, an Indiana court ruled that the terms of a divorce settlement agreement regarding the religious upbringing of the children was binding on both parties. (Wilson v. Wilson, 716 N.E. 2d 486 (Ind. App. 1999).)

The short of all this is that if you enter into an agreement about the religious upbringing of your children, it stands the best chance of being enforced by a court if it is in writing, very detailed, and no more than a couple of years old.

What Does This Mean for You?

Because each state court can rule according to its own law, and the states profiled in this article can reverse their positions at any time, you may be better off settling your differences outside the courtroom.

However, if you are afraid that your child may be harmed by your ex's religious practices, consider taking your child to a mental health professional. By doing so you'll either calm your concerns or have real evidence that may help you to renegotiate with your ex. And, if all else fails, you can use the evidence in court.

If you must resort to the court system to resolve a dispute regarding your children's religious upbringing, keep in mind the following:

• You stand the best chance of obtaining a decision in your favor if you already have either sole or joint legal custody.
  
• Regardless of which legal standard your state court follows, using strong language or actions that offend the other parent may result in court restrictions on your religious activities or even cause a court to award sole custody of your children to your ex.