Can both unmarried parents claim their child on their separate tax returns?

Taxes affect unmarried people with children much in the same way they do divorced partners -- only one person can claim the child as a dependent. This doesn't mean that only one parent is entitled to claim the child, just that only one person can legally take the exemption. How to decide who gets the tax break? That's easy. The parent whose income is in the higher tax bracket will get a bigger tax savings. Parents can agree in advance, and in writing if they prefer, on how to split the return.

Can a person who isn't a parent, but who plays a live-in parental role, take care of tasks like signing school permission slips or making medical decisions for a child?

That depends on several factors. First, is the other legal parent in the picture? If he is and he shares joint legal custody with your partner, chances are he has priority for making medical decisions. Hower, the non-parent may be listed as an emergency contact on school and other important records, in case a legal parent isn't available to make decisions for the child.

Regarding school permission slips, non-parents face restrictions here also. Schools are legally responsible for the children in their care. As such, they are only permitted to accept signatures from legal guardians. A legal guardian could be a foster parent or anyone who has legal custody of a child. An unmarried partner of a legal parent probably does not qualify. However, non-parents may be allowed to pick up a child from school (or daycare) if a legal parent informs the school that this will be happening either regularly or on a particular occasion.

To maximize what a non-parent caretaker can do, the legal parent should contact school and other authorities to find out what rights are available and what procedures are required to establish them.

When unmarried parents separate, how does the break up affect parenting rights and responsibilities?

If both partners are legal parents of the child -- either because they are biological parents, because they have jointly adopted a child or because a non-biological parent has obtained a legally valid second-parent adoption -- both parents usually have an equal right to custody of the child. This means that neither parent has the right to deprive the other of physical custody or visitation unless, or until, a judge makes such an order. If a court does grant one parent physical custody, the other parent is usually entitled to visitation and is next in line to exercise physical custody rights if the custodial parent becomes unable to care for the child.

Of course, the right to be considered a full legal parent of a child can be lost if a parent fails to exercise his or her parental responsibilities. For example, all legal parents have a duty to support their children, whether or not they have physical custody of them. The key is that if you are not the parent with custody, you must stay involved with your child -- visiting and providing support -- to the best of your ability.

If a partner is not a legal parent of the child, the partner may not have any legal rights to parent or even visit the child after a break-up. Ideally, if a partner wants to continue to be part of the child's life, both members of the couple will make and honor a workable (preferably written) agreement about how each will continue to parent, including the issues of visitation and support. If separating partners can't reach an agreement and one of them wants to petition a court for visitation, the outcome will depend on state law. Not long ago, almost all states would have denied a non-legal parent any right to see the child of a former partner, no matter how close the parent had been to the child while they were living in the same house. But this rule is changing as some state courts recognize that the best interests of the child may make visitation with a non-legal parent desirable. Because this area of the law is in constant flux, you'll want to research your state's law or visit a good family law attorney for guidance.