Are You Ready for Marriage? A Test
Despite myths of "happily-ever-after" or "love conquers all," problems in the marital relationship may surface within a short time after the wedding
The success or failure of a marriage relationship may hinge on how well the couple deals with issues such as financial assets, communication, conflict, parenting, in-laws, leisure time, sexuality, family of origin, spirituality, expectations, and chores. Most couples don't talk about these issues before they get married, and are surprised one or two years down the road when conflict seems more prevalent than romance.
While a family law attorney can help you create a premarital agreement to avoid conflict about financial issues, it is helpful for couples to ask themselves many other questions. Take some time to review this lengthy list with your future spouse. You may be surprised how open communication about these subjects will improve your relationship.
Motivation
- Why are you getting married?
Many couples get married due to pregnancy, loneliness, or other reasons. If you are clear about your motivation, it is less likely you will have unrealistic expectations.
Finances
- What are your expectations regarding finances?
- Do you intend to share everything 50/50?
- Does one partner earn significantly more than the other or have substantially greater assets?
It's important to know each other's expectations about finances. Talking through and memorializing how you expect to divide your assets in the unfortunate event of divorce reduces the likelihood of conflict even if you don't end up separating. Remember, each state views marital and separate property differently. All states view property acquired before the marriage, property received as a gift, and property inherited during the marriage as separate property -- it is not shared by the marriage. States are divided about how to treat marital property -- the property that is acquired or earned during the marriage. Community property states divide marital property equally, while the other states use equitable distribution and divide the property "fairly," which could be 50/50 or some other proportion.
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