If you don't find yourself at either extreme, take a close look at the marital property rules for your state, evaluate the benefits and burdens given your personal situation, and get a good sense of what being married would do for you financially.

Then, consider whether being married feels right for both of you emotionally. If the answers come back positive for both of you, then proceed, but consider creating a prenuptial agreement if any aspect of the traditional marriage structure doesn't meet your needs. If the impact of marriage feels unduly negative for one or both of you, however, maybe you should hold off.

To learn more about issues facing same-sex couples, get The Legal Guide for Lesbian & Gay Couples, by attorneys Hayden Curry, Denis Clifford, and Frederick Hertz (Nolo).