How to talk to your kids about crime and teach them to avoid becoming victims.

While the primary responsibility for protecting children rests with adults, children should be adequately prepared to protect themselves, should it be necessary.

Talking With Children About Crime

Talking to children about crime poses a dilemma for most parents. On the one hand, you want to prepare your children to deal with potential dangers, but on the other, you don't want to frighten them. When adults feel frightened and helpless in the face of potential danger, they pass these attitudes on to their children. This is why it is so important for parents to come to grips with their own anxieties before discussing crime prevention with their children. Parents who improve home security, practice street smarts and work in concert with neighbors give children a very different message: Crime is a problem that can be prevented.

Perhaps the best anti-crime step adults can take is to promote their children's self-esteem that is, let them know they are worthy of protection. Building self-esteem is more than a feel-good exercise -- it can actually help prevent a child's victimization. Child molesters find it easiest to take advantage of children who appear lonely, unloved or abandoned.

Although the idea of children being abducted by strangers is horrifying, and does happen, children are actually more likely to be molested or abducted by someone they know. Your goal, then, should be to help children develop self-protective skills that can be used no matter who threatens them.

Here are some general guidelines for talking to children about crime:

Understand that teaching your child self-protective skills is a life-long task. It is not something children can absorb in one or two sittings. Remind children frequently about how they can protect themselves and their belongings.

Gear your talk to the child. When talking to children about how to protect themselves from crime, be sure you use words and concepts they understand.

Never give your child safety rules you don't follow yourself. "Don't talk to strangers" is one warning parents give children almost universally, yet adults talk to strangers all the time -- for example, while they are standing in line at the grocer's, or at the bank or post office. It is better to instill the lesson that children should not get into a car with, or take candy or anything else a stranger offers them -- instead of insisting they should never speak to one. Children learn more from your actions than your words. When parents refrain from jaywalking, or regularly call home when they are going to be late, they set an example of following certain safety guidelines -- a point that should be stressed with pre-teens and teenagers, in particular, who may be more interested in exhibiting independent behavior than following common sense rules.

Don't just talk -- listen. Let children express their fears freely. Simply being able to tell an adult about the things they are afraid of can have a calming effect on children. Pay attention to the questions they ask, and answer them truthfully. A child's fantasies about a local crime can sometimes be worse than the reality. One young child, for instance, thought a kidnapper had magic powers because the police did not seem able to catch him. And be sure you understand what your child is saying. This isn't always easy.

Discuss with children what they see on television and at the movies. Children, particularly pre-schoolers, can have a hard time distinguishing between reality and the images they see on TV or in films. When they see a superhero brandish a sword, some young people may copy that action by waving a yardstick at the family dog. Or worse, a child who manages to get his hands on a loaded gun could use it in a tragic recreation of a violent movie. Parents cannot ignore the impact of mass media on their children. Some parents restrict TV viewing time or declare certain programs off limits. Whether or not you take those particular steps, spend time talking with children about what they watch and how they feel about it.