Make a Parenting Agreement

If you've committed to joint parenting but can't adopt (or choose not to), the first thing you should do is write up a parenting agreement. The agreement should specify that, although only one of you is the legal parent, you both consider yourselves parents of your child, with all the rights and responsibilities that come with parenting. Include language that clearly states your intentions to continue co-parenting even if you end your relationship. It's also wise to go further and cover financial issues, as well as the legal parent's intention to provide the second parent with generous visitation, access to school and social events, and so forth, in the case of a break-up.

Then, if the unfortunate does occur and you split up, honor your agreement. Since you've both agreed to co-parent without the legal advantages and protections of adoption, it's up to both of you to put your differences aside and make your child's needs a priority. If you can't resolve the issues amicably, you must take your chances with your state's court system. The outcome of such a battle is anything but certain.